And by cryptic, you mean f**king impossible, right?

e-card-ecard-funny-quote-stupid-Favim.com-273810

So my two work BFFs recently suggested I start doing cryptic crosswords. And no, this is not because I’ve got nothing better to do with my time, but because, and I quote, “you’re supremely intelligent, you’d be really good at them and we think you’d enjoy the word play.” Ok, I might have made that first part up, but you get where I’m going here, right?

And they are right about one thing, I do like word play. I like to write and I also love stuff that’s outside the box, that doesn’t follow a formula and that makes you think. However, as I pointed out to them, every time I’ve attempted to do a cryptic crossword, the only thing that crosses my mind is, what the fuck are they talking about?

My BFFs weren’t to be deterred however, and before I can say don’t worry about it, out comes the cryptic crossword from today’s paper, which is 99% done, and they try to encourage me to help them finish it. As I sit there staring at it, all I can see is a bunch of weird ass clues that make about as much sense to me as Chinese and all I can hear is an endless dialogue of idea swapping that makes as much sense to me as high school physics. Evidently the WTF expression on my face was obvious because my BFFs then attempt to explain to me how they crack these cryptic clues. At first I was like WTF? And then as they kept going I was like, WTF… oh ok, now I get it…sort of. And by the time they were through…I was still, yeah ok, I see it but really WTF. Again, not to be deterred, they encouraged me to try one for myself, assuring me I would soon get the hang of it.

Now being the nerd that I am, I went back to my desk and googled cryptic crosswords, thinking I’d surprise them by solving that final clue they hadn’t managed to crack. Unsurprisingly I didn’t solve it, and instead, I get sidetracked by an entire Wikipedia page dedicated to cryptic crosswords.

Well, fuck me.

Not only are there variations and levels on these things, but there are apparently endless types of both clues and rules that “show” you how to solve the puzzle. Here’s a completely straightforward and logical example of what I’m talking about:

15D Very sad unfinished story about rising smoke (8)

is a clue for TRAGICAL. This breaks down as follows.

– 15D indicates the location and direction (down) of the solution in the grid

– “Very sad” is the definition

– “unfinished story” gives “tal” (“tale” with one letter missing; i.e., unfinished)

– “rising smoke” gives “ragic” (a “cigar” is a smoke and this is a down clue so “rising” indicates that “cigar” should be written up the page; i.e., backwards)

– “about” means that the letters of “tal” should be put either side of “ragic”, giving “tragical”

– “(8)” says that the answer is a single word of eight letters.

There are many “code words” or “indicators” that have a special meaning in the cryptic crossword context. (In the example above, “about”, “unfinished” and “rising” all fall into this category). Learning these, or being able to spot them, is a useful and necessary part of becoming a skilled cryptic crossword solver.

Crystal clear right?

Wanting to prove a point, I email the above example to my friends, pointing out not only how impossible these things are, but also asking how I’m ever expected to remember all these rules and variations. As I wait for their response, I continue googling and stumble across a website that offers a “daily cryptic crossword that you can do in your coffee break.”

Oh, I’m pretty sure I can prove that wrong.

As I sit there staring at the clues, the only thing that crosses my mind is this; I still have no fucking idea what any of these clues mean. I mean I can’t remember a single rule and I literally cannot think of a single possible answer. Ten minutes later, I finally take a guess at one of them and because this is all online, I can cheat and find out if I’m right…holy shit…I am! I don’t exactly know how I worked it out, or where the answer came from, but who gives a shit, I got it right! Of course being the impatient person that I am, which let’s be honest, is the real reason I’ll never be any good at these things, I then checked all the other answers. It’s at this point that I discover me solving one clue was a complete and utter fluke, because even with the answers, I can barely understand the rest of them.

I finally concede defeat and admit to my BFFs that not only am I too impatient to ever do these puzzles, but that it just took me 10 minutes to work out one clue.

Their response? Oh, apparently 10 minutes is normal.

PM1

X-Men…our hot ass review.

x-men-days-of-future-past-cast

Yep, we’re back with our latest obsession! Here at Girls with Potty Mouths, we love to obsess over movies, especially movies with superheroes, comic book themes and hot boys. Over the weekend we saw X-Men: Days of Future Past and it was, hands down, the best in the series. There is just something about this group of rebel mutants that make our hearts swoon and the teenage girl in us squeal with delight. They’re gritty and sexy and holy fucking hot as hell.

The cast is amazing in its own right with A-list stars abound and simple cameos and bit parts that make you smile. The filmmaking…OMG…totes one of the best with its slow motion action and battle sequences, along with its crisp filming and 3D addition that make it just stunning to watch. You can’t help but get wrapped up in it all.

But let’s get down to what’s important here…the hot guys.

PM2:

OMFG, PM1!!! How perfectly awesome was X-Men: Days of Future past? I loved seeing a young Erik and Charles together again. But those feuding boys…so naughty, yet so hot. Damn that Raven for coming between them. She’s far smarter than that…take them both, sweetheart! No judgment here! While both boys have their perks, I’m partial to Erik/Magneto, even with his seventies garb and his fondness for neckerchiefs, I’d take him to bed. There’s just something about a bad boy that makes me go all swoony. Your thoughts, darling PM1? (On a side note… Michael Fassbender is so fucking bad ass and hot all on his own.)

PM1:

Totes agree PM2, totes agree. That Fassbender boy is smoking hot. Mind you, there’s no shortage of hot men in these X-Men films and what I loved most about this latest installment was the past-present mash-up that gave us not just young Magneto and Charles, but also Hank, arguably the hottest nerd around, Mystique, because let’s be real, she is smoking hot, and of course, Wolverine.

I’m gonna be honest and say I totes love the Wolverine. I love his surly ass attitude, I love the mega crush he has on Jean Grey and especially the way he rubs it in Cyclops’ face, I love his adamantium upgrades (come on, who doesn’t want a set of those claws) and I fucking love his physique. Not normally one for the OTT muscle, there’s just something about the Wolverine that works…and damn does it work well. So when you get Wolverine together with young Magneto, Charles and Hank…whoah, that’s a whole lotta hotness in one room.

The only thing I can think of that would be better than this, would be if Marvel did what all of us fans are hoping for and gave us…wait for it…an Avengers-X-Men mash-up! I mean, come the fuck on, can you imagine what that would be like? No? Well, allow me to pain you a picture…

  1. Loki
  2. Magneto
  3. Thor
  4. Wolverine
  5. Captain America
  6. Professor X
  7. Iron Man
  8. Hank
  9. The Hulk
  10. Cyclops
  11. Mystique
  12. Black Widow

I mean, holy fucking shit!…PM2, are you with me on this?

PM2:

I’m with you on it all, PM1. I’m not sure what more I can say seeing as you, my dear girl, have boarded the runaway train of hot men, superheroes and rambling inner thoughts.

My last thought… I’m already squirming in my chair for the next installment. Nothing like a bit of time travel and a few changes to the past to reset everything you ever knew. Can’t wait to see my favorite mutants take on Apocalypse. If we’re making lists, here’s mine:

Who I need taking on Apocalypse…

1. Wolverine-Well, because a fight sequence without his shirtless hot ass body would just be entirely pointless.

2. Scott/Cyclops-I have a thing for James Marsden. He has that nerdy-hot thing going on and now that his character has been resurrected, let’s give him the respect he deserves.

3. Jean Grey- You can’t have Scott without Jean and nothing beats the sexual tension between her and Wolverine. And maybe, just maybe we’ll see a better introduction to Dark Phoenix, which, in my opinion, was so badly botched in X-Men: The Last Stand. Hopefully they get it right his time.

4. Storm- She might be an original, but she’s as iconic as the whole franchise. I was sad to see her not up to her ass kicking, flying self in Days of Future Past. (In her defense, she was knocked up.) Here’s to hoping she’s as bad ass as she was in the past.

One more last last thought… What happens to Wolverine??? Since he traveled back in time and the past has been irrevocably disturbed, does he still take part in the Weapon X program or is he left with his original bone claws???

PM1:

Ahhh, I’m glad you brought that up PM2. He needs his upgrades!! As much as I love the bone claws, Wolverine isn’t Wolverine without those steel ones…I laugh so hard when he flips someone off with them! But, who knows what Mystique will do to him now she’s gotten her blue paws on him…guess we’ll have to wait and see when Apocolypse hits our screens. And as a final shout out, please bring back Quicksilver…his slow-mo run through the kitchen was one of the best scenes of the movie.

Please, shut the f**k up…

tumblr_ma6xyml2Mv1r7c8suo1_500

 

So last night I went and saw X-Men: Days of Future Past. Yes, this movie was awesome, probably one of the best in the entire series. The ending in particular had me squealing like a Japanese schoolgirl in a Hello Kitty store. But that’s not what this post is about…PM2 and I will regal you in a separate post about how much we loved this movie and in particular, the boys in it.

No this post is about my movie going experience, which almost led me to punch a 7 year old kid in the face.

So being that this was an X-Men movie, I went for the premium, extreme screen and sound, fancy seats, more expensive option. I’m totes ok with this, it is after all, X-Men, I like to be comfortable when I enjoy these boys. What I didn’t count on however, was the 20+ kids that occupied the row behind me, supervised by 2 adults who clearly couldn’t give a fuck about anything, but especially about the fact that these kids spent the next 2 hours ruining everyone’s movie going experience.

Pretty much from the time the movie started to the time the credits rolled, these kids talked non-fucking-stop. And this was despite repeated, “shut the fuck ups” from me, and others, in the cinema. I don’t give a fuck how excited you are, no one needs a running commentary of every single fucking thing that’s going on in the movie. But I especially don’t need it from a 7 year old who has no concept of volume control or even what the hell is going on half the time.

But it got worse, because not only did they never shut the fuck up, on three separate occasions, they all decided on a mass exodus from the movie theater in a style that resembled a running of the bulls…or a herd of elephants…or 20+ kids who simply don’t give a fuck. Of course this was followed up with all these kids running back into the theater, talking, laughing and kicking seats as they found their way back to their row.

I mean, I really don’t understand why these adults wasted their money even buying them tickets. They probably only saw half the fucking movie and when they were sitting there “watching” it, they never shut the fuck up.

And yes I realize I sound like a crabby bitch here. It’s not that I don’t like kids, I do, it’s just that when I pay for a premium movie experience, I don’t expect to have it ruined by a bunch of 7 year olds who not only shouldn’t be watching a PG-13 rated movie in the first place, but who are supervised by 2 adults who simply don’t give a fuck.

PM1

Mouthgasm: A follow up to the fruit post

1335062580293_8736207

After the tragic fruit incident at work today, I needed something to help me recover. So, what do I do? I drive to Portillo’s and order an entire chocolate cake. Yep the whole thing. Not a slice…the whole fucking cake.

Here’s how that went down. I walked up and the girl at the register smiled at me and asked what I would like to order.

Me: I’d like a chocolate cake, please.

Girl: (No longer smiling) Um, ok. A slice of chocolate cake.

Me: No. The whole cake.

Girl: Um, ok. The whole cake?

Me: Yes. The whole cake.

By now I was getting a little annoyed, but I really wanted my damn cake. So I continued to have this idiotic conversation.

Girl: Is this for here or to go?

Before I could answer, she stopped me and informed me that I needed to purchase an entire cake at the catering counter. The register I was currently standing at only took orders for “regular” sized orders. What the fuck does that even mean??

Still needing my chocolate cake, I stepped down to the catering counter, which should just say, “Counter for fat ass ordering an entire chocolate cake.” And here’s how that went down.

Another smiling girl greets me.

Girl #2: Hi, what can I help you with?

Me: I would like a chocolate cake, please.

Girl #2: A slice of cake.

Me: (Growing really annoyed, I may have let out a small huff before responding.) No, the entire cake.

Girl #2: The entire cake?

Me: Yes. (I’m not completely sure but I may or may not have said, “fuck” out loud.)

Girl #2: Is this for here or to go?

Me: (Rolling my eyes and possibly letting loose another “fuck”.) It’s for here. I’m going to consume an entire chocolate cake myself. Just give me a fork.

Girl #2: Oh, ok. No problem.

Me: Hey, that was a joke. It’s to go.

By this point Girl #2 said nothing, just bagged my cake and handed it to me. I can’t imagine I’m the only person to ever order a whole cake from Portillo’s, but the two girls working the counter sure made me believe that I was.

But none of that mattered when I ate that first slice. AHHHHHHHHH-MAZING… It was orgasmic!

Don’t judge me, someone brought fruit to work today and called it a treat!!

PM2

If it’s healthy, it isn’t a treat!!

6966305373_04055e7147_z

The start of my day was pretty shitastic. I woke up and thought it was Friday. Woot! Nope, fuck me, it’s Thursday. Crabby and pissed off, I arrived at work and opened my email. A bunch of pointless shit, but then I saw a message with the subject “Treats in the lounge” and my day was suddenly looking brighter.

Now I love food. Food makes me happy, especially really good food. Any type of chocolate, cupcakes, donuts, coffee cake, candy, basically any dessert type food. Well, honestly, it’s just food in general. But on a day like today, I was really hoping for the shitty kind of food. The kind with white sugar and white flour; all processed and fake, just all around the worst shit you can eat.

I hauled ass down to the lounge while visions of gourmet cupcakes, Portillo’s chocolate cake (Don’t ask why I focused on this. I kinda already knew this wouldn’t be waiting for me, but a girl can dream), cream cheese Danish, maybe even pink frosted donuts from Dunkin Dounts. The list was pretty extensive and the more I thought about it, the more excited I got. I was almost skipping by the time I reached the lounge door.

I whipped the door open and there sitting on the table was…wait for it… FUCKING FRUIT!!!! FRUIT!!! What sick ass motherfucker calls fruit a treat???? And to make matters worse it wasn’t even the good kind of fruit, like the kind that’s already cut up and ready to eat. It was fucking whole apples, pears, oranges, the kind of shit that takes work to eat.

Luckily I was alone in the lounge because I legit yelled out, “What the fuck?” and I even thought about chucking an apple against the wall. I had to take my anger out on someone. This was a cruel, sick joke and I wasn’t laughing.

A note to my co-workers: There was almost a murder at work today. (Granted it was only an apple, but do you really want that on your conscience?) The next time someone sends a message saying “Treats in the lounge” for all your sakes, you better fucking hope that you legit mean it. My self-control is at its minimum and one more fake treat announcement will surely do me in.

On a side note: A shout out to my boss who left a box of PopTarts on my desk yesterday. That was the only thing that saved my co-workers from getting an email from me telling them all to suck a bag of dicks.

FRUIT!!!! NO! JUST NO!

PM2

I’m going to hell…

images

Yep, there is no possible way this isn’t happening. I’m pretty sure I’m the conductor of the fucking train that takes all us shitheads straight to the flaming gates. All aboard!

Hell…can it really be that bad? Ok, I love the heat, so I’m not dreading this entirely. I imagine hell to be like Disney World in July. A sweltering shit show of sun and heat and humidity coupled with extreme cases of B.O. I kinda love this, minus the B.O. Maybe I do belong in hell? Maybe it’s my mothership? Maybe Satan and I would be BFFs! If that’s the case, I’d totes ask him to do me a solid and give me back the boobs I had when I was nineteen. Eternal damnation and whatever, it’s the least he can fucking do, right?

I derailed… So yeah, I’m legit going to hell. I swear like a fucking sailor, I enjoy a beverage or two fairly often and I tend to say everything I’m thinking and trust me, this is a bad thing. You should see the looks people give me when I question their stupidity out loud. I also laugh at people’s misfortunes. Not even Hubs B is immune to this. Once when we were in NYC he fell off the curb and broke his hand. Instead of rushing to his side, I laughed until I almost pissed myself while some random old lady helped him up. Going. To. Hell.

But today sorta sealed the deal and gave me a permanent place on the throne next to Satan. (I might be excited about being his queen if it means I get some sort of scepter.) While watching a Tosh.0 marathon, I found myself laughing to the point of tears at his racist, sexually demeaning, vulgar and downright inappropriate jokes.

I don’t know what came over me, but I grew a conscience during a disturbing video breakdown of a gigantic woman twerking in a Rubbermaid tub full of water. (FYI…she looked like a hippo having seizure. Guess I’m not feeling too bad because that was probably unnecessary.)

So…I should be a better person. I should be a role model. I should be more respectful. I shouldn’t laugh at this shit and rewind it and watch it over and over again and mock their moronic actions. (Butt water…fuck, these peeps are super WT, yet so entertaining.) Here’s the video just in case you need a visual.

It’s all so wrong, but something tells me I’ll always be naughty and laugh at this shit. In the end, the moral is, the show’s still on. I can’t be the only one, right?

Basically, I’m going to hell. So who’s joining me? (I’m pretty sure PM1 will be my roommate.)

PM2

You can have any movie you want as long as it’s F&F

The-Fast-and-the-Furious

Here at Girls with Potty Mouths we obsess over a lot of things, but we have two things that we share an intense and possibly crazy mutual love for. Ben Affleck (not sure if that’s obvious yet) and The Fast and the Furious movies. We have no shame or embarrassment when we admit we love The Fast and the Furious franchise. We have mad love for all of them, even the shit ass Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift.

PM2:

Ok PM1, we both love the F&F movies and it’s something we discuss regularly, so let’s share our obsession with our readers.

I don’t even know where to begin because OMFG I love these movies. I love the characters and the story line and the drama and the car chases and the hot ass boys and…fuck me…I love it all. It gives me that heart-racing, tingly feeling and something about it all is totes a turn on. It could have something to do with Vin Diesel and Paul Walker. (I nearly cried when I typed his name. I’m still recovering from his death. Total devastation.) But both of these boys… So. Fucking. Hot. Help me out PM1…let’s narrow this convo down.

PM1:

I hear you PM2, I hear you. There are no words to describe how I feel about this movie franchise. I own every single one of them, yet I will still watch them every time they are on TV. From the original, and some would say the best, to the shitastic Tokyo Drift, which was saved by the introduction of the delicious Han and the epic cameo from Vin at the end. To the resurrection of the franchise with Fast Five and the post-credits discovery that Letty was still alive (yeay!) and the full circle Fast and Furious Six, which got the whole gang back together again.

Like you, I can’t put it down to a single thing. I love the boys, (Vin, Paul – RIP beautiful man, Tyrese, Ludacris, Sung), the cars, the crazy ass driving stunts, the romance (yeay for Letty and Dom being back together), and the surprisingly emotional moments. I mean, I cried for Han when he lost Gisele and then I cried for me, when we lost Han. These movies are unashamedly over the top, but I think that’s part of why we love them. I love that they aren’t afraid to mock themselves and I love that every movie creates a whole new ridiculously implausible criminal and subsequent mission that always involves at least two super-charged car chases and completely unbelievable, but still totally cool stunts. Fuck Yeah.

One thing I do know however is that Fast Seven will sadly be the end of the line for me. It was one thing to lose Han and Gisele in Fast Six, but to even think about continuing these movies after the shocking and all too early death of Paul Walker. No way. I flat out refuse to watch any future Fast and Furious movies, because this man, like Vin, is the Fast and Furious movies. They are quite simply, pointless without him and I for one can barely accept the fact he has gone, let alone sit through a movie without him in it. PM2, what do you think?

PM2:

Oh…PM1, you know how I feel about the death of Paul Walker and the continuation of the franchise without him. Call it done. There is no point in continuing something that has lost person who is the personification of this franchise, the one who is and always will be, associated with these movies. I’m going to digress a bit… The death of Paul Walker pretty much ruined my evening that night and having to hear it from you, PM1, was even more devastating. I will never forget that text message, “PM2!!! PAUL WALKER IS DEAD.” I legit shed a tear and when Hubs B came home and I bombarded him with this news, he was anything but sympathetic. This is where Hubs B and Hubs A are total douche bags. While chatting with PM1 about one of the biggest tragedies of 2014, Hubs B was making snide comments in the background.

Me: Oh PM1, I’m so sad. Why did this have to happen???!!!

PM1: I know, me too. Why was he driving so fast???!!

Hubs B and Hubs A are listening to this and this is where Hubs B interjects and causes Hubs A to laugh uncontrollably.

Hubs B: That’s because he lives his life a quarter mile at a time. (I gave him the death stare, but have to give him props for his witty retort that included an F&F reference.)

To this day, PM1 and I still talk about this convo, but at least now we can laugh about Hubs A and Hubs B’s stupidity.

But back to the post…well maybe, because this has turned into a rambling shit ass mess of gibberish. Anyway…These movies are full of some of the best one-liners ever. (“I live my life a quarter mile at a time.” “Bullshit. Nobody likes the tuna here.” “The busta brought me home.” “You can have any brew you want as long as it’s a Corona.”) And well, let’s be honest, we all know it is one of the best film franchises of all time. Just try and disagree with us. You’d be completely fucking wrong, so don’t bother.

Have you ever known a franchise that can make a bunch of movies set in random order and come out on top? These movies top the box office with insane opening numbers and even more outrageous earnings. Now tell me these movies suck. Not. Going. To. Happen. Nope, this shit is it. 2Fast 2Furious and Tokyo Drift, both crap, yet somehow created two amazingly memorable characters, Roman and Han. The creation of Fast and Furious (technically movie #4) that eventually brought back most of the original cast with hardly any link to the previous two movies. The reason I say random order is because Tokyo Drift actually takes place after The Fast and the Furious Six and foreshadows the death of Han. (Sobbing. WTF…why did he have to die???) Only seriously avid lovers of the franchise would recognize this.

But it’s not only the one-liners that make these movies outstanding. It’s so much more. Vin Diesel is like the Yoda of cars, teaching Brian everything he needs to know about racing and nitrous deploying timing and shifting and well, life. And who doesn’t love action-packed car races that border on ridiculously impossible? I love the scene in Fast Five when they steal the safe and drive it through the city. (A shout out to Giselle for driving that garbage truck in an orange jumpsuit and still looking fucking hot as hell.) The deception and planning and execution of it all, only to have it followed up with a perfectly cheesy ending. OMG…I could go on forever. I think this needs a top five or a top ten, maybe even a top…who the fuck knows how many. Thoughts, PM1?

PM1:

I think what this needs is a fucking saga PM2 and that’s totes how I see this post turning out! But you’re right, on so many counts, but especially about Hubs A and Hubs B being epic douche bags during the death of Paul Walker…a man we not only fantasize about racing alongside, but who is the epitome of what this movie franchise is all about. It will never be the same without him.

But it’s everything else you mentioned too. And of course, let’s not forget the romance. From the tough love, push my buttons and I’ll push yours, between Dom and Letty to the totes adorable love between Brian and Mia to the outright gorgeous pinning of Han for Gisele… These men might be total tough guys, but they are complete softies when it comes to their women, and we love them even more for that.

This series, quite simply, has it all. I mean I can single-handedly thank this movie franchise for not only teaching me a whole bunch of pointless car shit, but for also giving me some of the coolest lines of all time. The Fast and Furious Franchise will always be a go-to movie series for us, one that we will never get tired of watching, but will forever be retired after Fast Seven.

And on that note, PM2 and I would like to take a second to say how much we miss Paul Walker. Yes, we didn’t know the man and yes, our love is heavily based on his looks and fucking adorable character in this movie franchise, but it’s also based on this.

RIP Paul Walker 🙁

Don’t judge me, but… Best. Season. Finale. Ever.

 

7d4333df5c4046a61952f1d17535428b_large

Ok…I officially need to discuss the season finale of The Vampire Diaries. So if you haven’t seen it…spoilers are coming…you’ve been warned.

Look, I’ll admit, I’m a huge fan of the fang. I love all vampire stuff, but especially when it’s done well. No sparkling fangless vamps here thank you. And personally, I think The Vampire Diaries, hits it out of the fucking ballpark. This show has it all; the fangs, the blood, the drinking from humans, the violence, and the holy-fucking-shit-is-he-sexy. This is what vampires should be about.

I’m also going to admit that I’m partial to certain celebrity romances. I get invested, protective even, almost as though I’m involved in them myself. Yes I know, it’s not normal, but I can’t help it, I feel a certain allegiance to specific couples and I’m naturally devastated when they break up in real life.

But what the fuck does any of this have to do with anything?

A good question, and I’ll admit, the link is tenuous as best, but, and hear me out, because I’ll bet I’m not alone. Watching last night’s season finale of The Vampire Diaries has only reinforced to me how much IAN AND NINA SHOULD GET BACK TOGETHER. Seriously.

But it also reinforced to me just how much this show fucking rocks.

Oh fuck me, was this finale epic. I cried, I squealed, I screamed “no fucking way”…a lot… and I smiled… but mostly I cried. Because finally, finally, Damon and Elena were on the same page and my god was it fucking awesome, like seriously swoon-worthy Thelma and Louise style awesome…and then…Damon doesn’t make it back…and Elena breaks down … and then… he talks about how this is the moment he knows his entire 173 year life was worth it… and then… I swoon some more… and then… I break down again… and then… the show ends and I’m wishing to fuck it was season 6 already.

It was emotional and it was romantic and it was everything a good bad-boy-vampire-meets-good-girl-vampire show should be. And once again, it highlighted the fan-fucking-tastic sexual chemistry Nina and Ian have. So for the love of fucking god, please get back together already…and CWTV, for the love of fucking god, please start season 6 already.

The only saving grace in this whole sob-fest of Elena losing Damon and me losing my dignity, is that Alaric is back… Alaric is back!! And if he hadn’t just lost his BFF, I’d be rejoicing at the best onscreen bromance ever being back together again. Only I can’t…because Damon is gone…and I’m about to cry again.

So you see, Damon has to come back, not just for Elena and Alaric, but for me too…seriously…Damon, come back…please.

PM1

Bromances

Ah, the bromance. Don’t you just love them? There’s something so indescribably adorable about two grown ass men who just love hanging out together. It’s BFFs at its cutest and there are definitely some good ones around.

rs_600x600-140130132717-600-ben-affleck-matt-damon.ls.13014

1. Ben Affleck & Matt Damon.

Arguably the original bromance, the one that coined the phrase and made it totes ok for two boys to be openly BFFs. No bromance list is complete without these two. Friends since childhood, they not only hang out together, they also write and produce movies together, act together, run charities together and vacation with their families together. They are the epitome of what a good bromance is and we love them for staying friends after all this time.

Jensen-and-Jared-padackles-30393024-556-420

2. Jared Padalecki & Jensen Ackles.

These two have played brothers on screen for 9 years, but in real life, they are total BFFs. Whether it’s fucking about for the cameras at Comic Con, or hanging out at each other’s weddings, or laughing and pranking together on set, these two have a friendship that is truly gorgeous. The fact that they are also gorgeous, only heightens the appeal.

1427c8780dd374e4757fe3cb57ef3afb

3. Tom Hiddleston & Chris Hemsworth.

Also playing brothers on screen, these two share a playful and cheeky friendship off screen. One which always guarantees a laugh during photo opportunities or interviews. The fact that Tom, with his gorgeous Brit accent, can imitate Chris’ Aussie accent to perfection, only solidifies our love for this bromance.

georgebrad_l

4. George Clooney & Brad Pitt.

Although these two haven’t graced the big screen together for years, their bromance is still as cute as ever. Whether it’s supporting any number of charitable organizations together, pranking each other, or making us laugh our asses off with their cheeky antics in Oceans 11, 12 or 13, this bromance stands the test of time.

comi-con, comicon, bts, photobooth, 2010

5. Paul Wesley & Ian Somerholder.

Again, these two play brothers onscreen, and we can certainly understand why Elena struggles to choose which brother she wants more. Not sure we could decide either. Even when these two are fighting onscreen, you can still tell they have that brotherly love for each other. The fact they support each other off screen is just plain adorable too. Now, if only we could get ourselves cast as Elena.

ZgPwisb

6. Ian McKellan & Patrick Stewart.

Although these two don’t fit the usual guys we would have on our list, they are super cute together. We love them in X-men and when they are together off screen, they just look like they are always having a great time. Love the bowler hats, boys! Must be Magneto that pulls them together. (Sorry…that was cheesy as fuck.)

justin-timberlake-fallon

7. Justin Timberlake & Jimmy Fallon.

OMG, these two, how can you not love them? We fall hard for boys who can make us laugh and these two; they kill it in that department. And it doesn’t hurt that they are adorable, too. The clincher is that these boys hooked up long before either of them had booming careers and have stuck together ever since. Together, they are a force to be reckoned with…toss in all their goofiness and cheeky smiles and love of dancing and singing and fuck…this list could go on forever so basically, they will always make our list. Their sense of humor and their solid friendship makes them so hot.

Why Ben Affleck is our number one celebrity BF – part 1

Ben

At Girls With Potty Mouths, we make no secret of our love for Ben Affleck. We adore him as an actor, a director, a writer, a husband, a father, a humanitarian, a gorgeous piece of ass, and just an all round nice guy.

So, in honor of Ben, and really, do we need an excuse to sing this guy’s praises, we’ve each come up with our Top 5 favorite Ben Affleck movies. Ready, go…

PM1:

1. The Town. Ok, Ben wrote it, directed it, produced it, and starred in it, highlighting his immense talent and all round awesomeness. This alone should put this film in the number 1 spot. But then there’s that scene. You know the one I’m talking about. The one we’ve all watched a million times because it involves Ben, shirtless, doing chin ups in the doorframe. Well played, Ben, well played.

2. Argo. Again, he wrote it, he directed it, he produced it, and he starred in it. Yes it “slightly” glamorized real life events and Ben was rocking a shocking 70s hairstyle…but who cares, because this film once again showed his awesomeness off to the world. The fact the Academy snubbed him for a Director nod only goes to show their stupidity, especially when every other organization gave him the award. Wake up Academy, this man has talent, serious talent.

3. Chasing Amy. Because this is love-struck, adorable Ben at his best. Classic lines and characters, a ballsy kiss with his BFF and a gorgeously romantic attempt to win back the girl he loves, I will never get tired of watching this film.

4. Sum of All Fears. Yep, I know it’s not known for being one of his best films, but I still love it because (a) it stars Ben Affleck, (b) he rocks it when he speaks Russian, (c) he’s adorable as the nerdy wannabe spy who’s in love with the surgeon and, (d) it stars Ben Affleck.

5. Good Will Hunting. Undoubtedly a classic, this was also the film that launched Ben’s career, introduced us to his younger brother Casey and also gave us the downright adorable bromance of Matt and Ben. Never have two BFFs been cuter, especially when they took their mom’s to the Oscars. Collaborate again boys, we MISS you together.

PM2:

1. The Town. I’m not sure I need to say a lot about this because clearly this movie showcases his talent like no other. Director, writer, actor…a real renaissance man. Plus I just adore the love story that develops within this movie, so sweet. I love it. But really who am I kidding? That fucking chin up scene is really the reason I keep coming back and re-watching. I love that man and his sick ass body.

2. Armageddon. Now I know this movie is cheesy as fuck and borderline terrible, but I love it. I remember seeing it in the theater with Hubs B who at the time was just Boy B. Fuck knows why he married me after the display I put on during that movie. I sobbed like a fucking baby. (So loud in fact that when we left the theater Hubs B said that the movie was sad but I was the only one crying so hard that it made a noise.) In my defense, I thought Ben was going to die!!!

3. Good Will Hunting. Totes a classic and one of my favorite movies of all time. I have mad love for Casey Affleck and Matt Damon and I really kinda need them all to get on another project together. Hear that boys? But back to the movie… I love that Boston accent and the horrible track suit Ben rocks in this movie. And as always, there’s something about a bad boy.

4. Chasing Amy. I love this movie and it might just be because I love anything by Kevin Smith too. I love Ben’s character’s determination to win over the girl. To be pursued like that and by that beautiful boy, I would instantly rethink my need to shag women. Joey Lauren Adams gets a shout out for being aborbs, too.

5. Jersey Girl. Kevin Smith again and there’s something about Ben and that little girl that just makes my heart swell. I love the scene when he re-enacts Sweeny Todd with her just to make her happy. He is, in this movie, the perfect father and when he falls in love with Liv Tyler, my heart melts.

PM1 & PM2:

Now of course, this being Ben, even limiting it to a Top is tough, so…

Honorable mention part one…Pearl Harbor. This movie sucks. The worst, but again…we thought Ben was going to die!!! And the love he has for Kate Beckinsale’s character (smoking hot btw), is just adorable.

Honorable mention part two…Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. We love, love, love this movie. Although Ben’s part is tiny, his potty mouth turns us on and makes us laugh. His reprised role of Holden McNeil in all of these movies is always awesome and the fact that he mocks himself in this one only makes him even more attractive.

Honorable mention part three must go to Dogma. Not only do we get to watch that adorable Matt-Ben bromance again, but we flat out love these two boys as fallen angels. You can come save us any time boys!

Honorable mention part four goes to Gone Baby Gone. Ok, Ben doesn’t star in it, but he did direct it, and for a first time director, it was nothing short of fucking awesome. Plus we got to see Casey showcase his acting chops.

As you can see we’re having a hard time narrowing it down. Pretty sure Batman will soon be joining this list too… BEN!!! Stop making it so hard!