You can have any movie you want as long as it’s F&F

The-Fast-and-the-Furious

Here at Girls with Potty Mouths we obsess over a lot of things, but we have two things that we share an intense and possibly crazy mutual love for. Ben Affleck (not sure if that’s obvious yet) and The Fast and the Furious movies. We have no shame or embarrassment when we admit we love The Fast and the Furious franchise. We have mad love for all of them, even the shit ass Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift.

PM2:

Ok PM1, we both love the F&F movies and it’s something we discuss regularly, so let’s share our obsession with our readers.

I don’t even know where to begin because OMFG I love these movies. I love the characters and the story line and the drama and the car chases and the hot ass boys and…fuck me…I love it all. It gives me that heart-racing, tingly feeling and something about it all is totes a turn on. It could have something to do with Vin Diesel and Paul Walker. (I nearly cried when I typed his name. I’m still recovering from his death. Total devastation.) But both of these boys… So. Fucking. Hot. Help me out PM1…let’s narrow this convo down.

PM1:

I hear you PM2, I hear you. There are no words to describe how I feel about this movie franchise. I own every single one of them, yet I will still watch them every time they are on TV. From the original, and some would say the best, to the shitastic Tokyo Drift, which was saved by the introduction of the delicious Han and the epic cameo from Vin at the end. To the resurrection of the franchise with Fast Five and the post-credits discovery that Letty was still alive (yeay!) and the full circle Fast and Furious Six, which got the whole gang back together again.

Like you, I can’t put it down to a single thing. I love the boys, (Vin, Paul – RIP beautiful man, Tyrese, Ludacris, Sung), the cars, the crazy ass driving stunts, the romance (yeay for Letty and Dom being back together), and the surprisingly emotional moments. I mean, I cried for Han when he lost Gisele and then I cried for me, when we lost Han. These movies are unashamedly over the top, but I think that’s part of why we love them. I love that they aren’t afraid to mock themselves and I love that every movie creates a whole new ridiculously implausible criminal and subsequent mission that always involves at least two super-charged car chases and completely unbelievable, but still totally cool stunts. Fuck Yeah.

One thing I do know however is that Fast Seven will sadly be the end of the line for me. It was one thing to lose Han and Gisele in Fast Six, but to even think about continuing these movies after the shocking and all too early death of Paul Walker. No way. I flat out refuse to watch any future Fast and Furious movies, because this man, like Vin, is the Fast and Furious movies. They are quite simply, pointless without him and I for one can barely accept the fact he has gone, let alone sit through a movie without him in it. PM2, what do you think?

PM2:

Oh…PM1, you know how I feel about the death of Paul Walker and the continuation of the franchise without him. Call it done. There is no point in continuing something that has lost person who is the personification of this franchise, the one who is and always will be, associated with these movies. I’m going to digress a bit… The death of Paul Walker pretty much ruined my evening that night and having to hear it from you, PM1, was even more devastating. I will never forget that text message, “PM2!!! PAUL WALKER IS DEAD.” I legit shed a tear and when Hubs B came home and I bombarded him with this news, he was anything but sympathetic. This is where Hubs B and Hubs A are total douche bags. While chatting with PM1 about one of the biggest tragedies of 2014, Hubs B was making snide comments in the background.

Me: Oh PM1, I’m so sad. Why did this have to happen???!!!

PM1: I know, me too. Why was he driving so fast???!!

Hubs B and Hubs A are listening to this and this is where Hubs B interjects and causes Hubs A to laugh uncontrollably.

Hubs B: That’s because he lives his life a quarter mile at a time. (I gave him the death stare, but have to give him props for his witty retort that included an F&F reference.)

To this day, PM1 and I still talk about this convo, but at least now we can laugh about Hubs A and Hubs B’s stupidity.

But back to the post…well maybe, because this has turned into a rambling shit ass mess of gibberish. Anyway…These movies are full of some of the best one-liners ever. (“I live my life a quarter mile at a time.” “Bullshit. Nobody likes the tuna here.” “The busta brought me home.” “You can have any brew you want as long as it’s a Corona.”) And well, let’s be honest, we all know it is one of the best film franchises of all time. Just try and disagree with us. You’d be completely fucking wrong, so don’t bother.

Have you ever known a franchise that can make a bunch of movies set in random order and come out on top? These movies top the box office with insane opening numbers and even more outrageous earnings. Now tell me these movies suck. Not. Going. To. Happen. Nope, this shit is it. 2Fast 2Furious and Tokyo Drift, both crap, yet somehow created two amazingly memorable characters, Roman and Han. The creation of Fast and Furious (technically movie #4) that eventually brought back most of the original cast with hardly any link to the previous two movies. The reason I say random order is because Tokyo Drift actually takes place after The Fast and the Furious Six and foreshadows the death of Han. (Sobbing. WTF…why did he have to die???) Only seriously avid lovers of the franchise would recognize this.

But it’s not only the one-liners that make these movies outstanding. It’s so much more. Vin Diesel is like the Yoda of cars, teaching Brian everything he needs to know about racing and nitrous deploying timing and shifting and well, life. And who doesn’t love action-packed car races that border on ridiculously impossible? I love the scene in Fast Five when they steal the safe and drive it through the city. (A shout out to Giselle for driving that garbage truck in an orange jumpsuit and still looking fucking hot as hell.) The deception and planning and execution of it all, only to have it followed up with a perfectly cheesy ending. OMG…I could go on forever. I think this needs a top five or a top ten, maybe even a top…who the fuck knows how many. Thoughts, PM1?

PM1:

I think what this needs is a fucking saga PM2 and that’s totes how I see this post turning out! But you’re right, on so many counts, but especially about Hubs A and Hubs B being epic douche bags during the death of Paul Walker…a man we not only fantasize about racing alongside, but who is the epitome of what this movie franchise is all about. It will never be the same without him.

But it’s everything else you mentioned too. And of course, let’s not forget the romance. From the tough love, push my buttons and I’ll push yours, between Dom and Letty to the totes adorable love between Brian and Mia to the outright gorgeous pinning of Han for Gisele… These men might be total tough guys, but they are complete softies when it comes to their women, and we love them even more for that.

This series, quite simply, has it all. I mean I can single-handedly thank this movie franchise for not only teaching me a whole bunch of pointless car shit, but for also giving me some of the coolest lines of all time. The Fast and Furious Franchise will always be a go-to movie series for us, one that we will never get tired of watching, but will forever be retired after Fast Seven.

And on that note, PM2 and I would like to take a second to say how much we miss Paul Walker. Yes, we didn’t know the man and yes, our love is heavily based on his looks and fucking adorable character in this movie franchise, but it’s also based on this.

RIP Paul Walker 🙁

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