My thoughts on the Kimye wedding

I’m always excited to get my weekly installment of People Magazine; it’s like my connection to the outside world, where I live vicariously through rich celebrities and their fabulous lives. But this came a few days ago.


FYI…I hate the nickname as much as I hate the wedding.

Contain your excitement! I know I could barely stand it, almost pissing myself like a Chihuahua, out of pure joy…not. (On a side note: My potty-mouthed counterpart, PM1 and I just had a pretty idiotic convo about how the use of “not” as a joke is played out. I’m gonna try to bring it back…not.)

But back to what this post is about. How could People Magazine do this? A full cover dedicated to the debacle that was the Kimye wedding along with twenty, holy fucking shitballs, twenty (grainy as hell) EXCLUSIVE pictures. Now imagine my shock when I saw this sitting among my mail. I thought it was over. The wedding took place, so I was hoping it would all go away and I could get back to reading about sweet fuck all on E! and Facebook and Twitter, but I was sadly mistaken.

Am I the only one who remembers that we indulged this self-absorbed pseudo celebrity a few years ago when she married that giant? And let’s not forget to mention her first shotgun marriage to that stepping stone up the B-list ladder, the music producer. (Oh yeah, and that sex tape “scandal”. Yeah fucking right, scandal my tiny ass. That was just a calculated jumping off point to begin the media blitz that became Kim Kardashian. When are people going to learn??? That shit gets leaked! If you don’t want your freshly wax crotch all over the Internet, don’t take a picture of it. If you don’t want your jiggly ass (trust me no one’s ass looks good during sex) plastered on freeporn or whatever, then don’t record it. Derailed…) Back to my point, not that I have one entirely.

Now I’m not going to sit around and bitch that she’s trashing up the sanctity of marriage and whatnot, because, let’s face it that was already shot to shit by the millions of Americans who get divorced every year. I have no problem with divorce, it happens. People are impulsive, as a society we make poor choices. Live with it. But this shit is what pisses me off. The overindulgence, the constant media frenzy that surrounds something that has little to no meaning, since it has been done so many times. Fine, get married three times, get married thirty times for all I care, but for the love of fucking everything, stop making it a moneymaking, ego boosting, self-absorbed dirt bag fest. Just because you’re wealthy doesn’t make this whole thing any less trashy than an episode of 16 and Pregnant.

Btw…just in case you were wondering, Jay-Z and Beyonce did show up, but Kim’s tubby brother didn’t. I feel your pain, buddy; I’d eat to drown my sorrows if I was part of this runaway train too.

Anyone want to start an over/under on how long this one’s gonna last?