Professional? My f**king ass

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I’m sure a lot of you have hired professionals to take care of things for you at one time or another. For instance, maybe someone to clean your house, wash your windows, remodel a bathroom, design a website or blog, reroof your house; the list is pretty extensive and could go on for days. But recently I hired someone to take on a job and it went to shit in a matter of seconds.

I hire these people because they are professionals and I’m not. If you need some learning, I’m your girl, but construction, cleaning, blog design, fuck it, that’s not me. (And maybe I’m a little lazy, too.)

So, that brings me to my point, I have a hobby that requires the use of a freelance team of people and I have always been thoroughly satisfied with the people I’ve worked with. For some stupid ass reason, I opted to hire someone I have never worked with before.

It went to fucking hell in a hand basket after the first fucking email. Intuition told me to walk away, but thinking I was jumping the gun on firing someone so quickly, I stuck it out for 30+ fucking emails.

Here’s how it all went down. I hired this person to design something similar to the Girls with Potty Mouth blog, which went so well, I thought; why not give someone else a shot.

I started by filling out the lengthy design form that took almost an hour and I left a few sections blank. I waited and four days later I still hadn’t heard anything. I sent a courtesy email asking if the fucking novel design form I filled out was received. It in fact was and work would begin promptly.

Awesome! But not really…

Promptly meant two weeks later and I had to send two more “courtesy” emails that were becoming far less courtesy than the first. At this time, I received an email asking me to take on a portion of this person’s work, because they were, in fact, running behind in their work schedule. Are you fucking kidding me???No, I won’t do your fucking job because your schedule is full. I shot back a pretty heated email and got a return email explaining how it would help if I took on this portion because it’s my vision. I don’t fucking care! I gave you a few ideas and because you’re the professional I hired, I need you to create something from it.

But, because I needed this work done in a timely manner, I did what was asked. And again, a good length of time went by with no communication. Another courtesy email sent and again another response with far too many questions regarding my design idea. All of the questions were answered in the fucking design form I filled out.

Mentioning this in the email I sent back, I did eventually answer all the fucking questions again. And again the waiting game…

I finally got an email with the finished product!

Yay! But not really…

What the fucking fuck!!!???

Design form filled out, multiple emails exchanged about my “vision” and the fucking finished product is missing everything! Not one single thing I asked to be incorporated was in the design and when I shot back a very professional email, I was confronted with the same questions from the design form and the multiple emails, being asked for the millionth fucking time!

Learn to fucking read! I hate hand holding, I hate giving direction and I fucking hate people who can’t perform their job without someone giving them constant feedback.

By this point, I was done. Just fucking done. Enlisting the help of PM1 because I was so fucking pissed, she promptly fired her for me. (PM1 and I were working on this project together, btw.)

Lesson learned, cheap isn’t always better, hand-holding is for teenagers in love, not professionals, and when someone misuses the words its/it’s and then/than, you should walk run the other fucking direction.

PM2

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