Fuck. Me. — Page 2

Professional? My f**king ass

July 25, 2014 by Girlswithpottymouths ·

I’m sure a lot of you have hired professionals to take care of things for you at one time or another. For instance, maybe someone to clean your house, wash your windows, remodel a bathroom, design a website or blog, reroof your house; the list is pretty extensive and could go on for days. But recently I hired someone to take on a job and it went to shit in a matter of seconds.

I hire these people because they are professionals and I’m not. If you need some learning, I’m your girl, but construction, cleaning, blog design, fuck it, that’s not me. (And maybe I’m a little lazy, too.)

So, that brings me to my point, I have a hobby that requires the use of a freelance team of people and I have always been thoroughly satisfied with the people I’ve worked with. For some stupid ass reason, I opted to hire someone I have never worked with before.

It went to fucking hell in a hand basket after the first fucking email. Intuition told me to walk away, but thinking I was jumping the gun on firing someone so quickly, I stuck it out for 30+ fucking emails.

Here’s how it all went down. I hired this person to design something similar to the Girls with Potty Mouth blog, which went so well, I thought; why not give someone else a shot.

I started by filling out the lengthy design form that took almost an hour and I left a few sections blank. I waited and four days later I still hadn’t heard anything. I sent a courtesy email asking if the fucking novel design form I filled out was received. It in fact was and work would begin promptly.

Awesome! But not really…

Promptly meant two weeks later and I had to send two more “courtesy” emails that were becoming far less courtesy than the first. At this time, I received an email asking me to take on a portion of this person’s work, because they were, in fact, running behind in their work schedule. Are you fucking kidding me???No, I won’t do your fucking job because your schedule is full. I shot back a pretty heated email and got a return email explaining how it would help if I took on this portion because it’s my vision. I don’t fucking care! I gave you a few ideas and because you’re the professional I hired, I need you to create something from it.

But, because I needed this work done in a timely manner, I did what was asked. And again, a good length of time went by with no communication. Another courtesy email sent and again another response with far too many questions regarding my design idea. All of the questions were answered in the fucking design form I filled out.

Mentioning this in the email I sent back, I did eventually answer all the fucking questions again. And again the waiting game…

I finally got an email with the finished product!

Yay! But not really…

What the fucking fuck!!!???

Design form filled out, multiple emails exchanged about my “vision” and the fucking finished product is missing everything! Not one single thing I asked to be incorporated was in the design and when I shot back a very professional email, I was confronted with the same questions from the design form and the multiple emails, being asked for the millionth fucking time!

Learn to fucking read! I hate hand holding, I hate giving direction and I fucking hate people who can’t perform their job without someone giving them constant feedback.

By this point, I was done. Just fucking done. Enlisting the help of PM1 because I was so fucking pissed, she promptly fired her for me. (PM1 and I were working on this project together, btw.)

Lesson learned, cheap isn’t always better, hand-holding is for teenagers in love, not professionals, and when someone misuses the words its/it’s and then/than, you should walk run the other fucking direction.

PM2

Filed Under: FFS, Fuck. Me., WTF? ·

Holy Mother of Viking Gods…

July 8, 2014 by Girlswithpottymouths ·

Stop the fucking press…I’ve found my newest TV show obsession and the latest addition to what I like to refer to as my TV BFs.

Yes, I might be a little behind the eight ball, but whatever. Allow me to introduce the show, Vikings and the insanely sexy lead, whose blue eyes are nothing short of fucking mesmerizing, Ragnar Lothbrok (Travis Fimmel for googling purposes, peeps).

Holy shit…this show has got it all. I mean for starters, the guy is hot as fuck, but the story, the sets, the drama, the supporting cast, it’s all just epically fucking awesome. I’d heard rumors about this show, analogies of what it might be similar to, floating around and I gotta say, I totes agree…this show really is Sons of Anarchy meets Game of Thrones. And sexy Ragnor, well, he’s pretty much a Jax Teller – Jon Snow mash-up.

Yeah ladies, take a step the fuck back, this man is mine.

What’s it all about? Well, do we really care when this guy is strutting on screen? No, possibly not, but as good looking as he is, the story is also pretty kick ass too…and authentic, so major props to writer Michael Hirst for doing these Nordic bad boys justice. Telling the story of Ragnar, a rumored direct descendant of Odin (god of war and warriors for those of you who haven’t yet watched Thor), who leads his band of Viking brothers, while also looking after his family, in his quest to become King of the Viking Tribes. Not only is this man a fearless warrior, he’s a dedicated husband (plenty of sexy times peeps) and father. Thrown in for good measure is a healthy dose of Nordic traditions and devotion to the gods. I kid you not, I nearly shit myself when Ragnar told his son they were going to see Loki…

Fucking Loki!

Alas it wasn’t the cheeky little bad-boy we all know and love from such movies as Thor, Thor 2 and Avengers, but whatever, it’s a minor detail.

And quite frankly, Ragnar’s blue eyes more than make up for it. I mean seriously, it should be illegal to have eyes that blue. Holy fucking mother of Nordic gods, are they blue. And he is sexy and this show has got me hooked.

And for that Odin, I thank you.

PM1

Filed Under: Beautiful boy, Don't judge me, Fuck. Me., Holy shit burgers ·

True Blood…are you f**king kidding me???

July 7, 2014 by Girlswithpottymouths ·

Ok…in keeping with my earlier, TV show obsessed post, I need to have a rant about the latest True Blood episode. As a warning, anyone who hasn’t seen episode 3 yet, stop reading. Not only are there going to be spoilers, I’m about to rant like a fucking lunatic.

Because seriously True Blood writers…

What. The. Fuck. was THAT?

Seriously? That’s all Alcide gets?

A random shot to the head by some fucking unknown loser hiding in the bushes who’s never held a fucking gun before, while Alcide is standing there buck fucking naked (so fucking hot) after swooping in with Sam to save the fucking day?

Fuck. Me. That, is total bullshit.

Yeah ok, I get what you’re doing, we all fucking do, it’s been blatantly obvious since this show started. I mean we all know Sookie is going to end up with Bill. It’s been destined since episode 1 peeps, long before the show stopped following the books and long before it went off the rails with it’s ridiculous storyline about fucking Lilith, the vampire demi-god or whatever the fuck she was.

But that’s not what this ~~rant~~ post is about. No this is about how un-fucking-fair Alcide’s death was. I mean aside from the fact the guy is a 6’5” man of fucking steel werewolf, he’s also a nice fucking guy, a guaranteed bit of eye candy and someone the fans love. He deserved more than that. He deserved an epic fucking showdown that didn’t just showcase his fighting skills and his abs of fucking steel, but also his huge love for Sookie and the rest of his peeps.

Instead we get some random dickhead accidentally-on-purpose popping a cap in his head?

Fuck, the least you could do was pan the fucking camera down so we could get the full monty shot as Alcide lay there dying and I sat on my couch screaming “NOOOOOOOOO.”

And yes I know this is the final season and shit’s gonna get real, but fuck me, what exactly did his death accomplish? All it did was undermine just how fucking awesome Alcide is and make him look like a motherfucking pussy.

Oh, and make me motherfucking pissed.

Take note True Blood. Take. Note.

PM1

Filed Under: Beautiful boy, Don't judge me, FFS, Fuck. Me., Holy shit burgers, Things that piss us off, WTF? ·

Oh sweet baby Jesus! GOAL!!!

July 2, 2014 by Girlswithpottymouths ·

world-cup-031-280x190

Yes, these boys play soccer…

Hubs B is a huge fan of soccer and with the world cup only coming around every four years, I let him indulge. Unless you were living under a rock, you know yesterday the US played Belgium in a game that would allow the winner to advance to the next round.

Hotsoccer

And so do these. Just imagine them all hot and sweaty.

So Hubs B and I headed over to our favorite little bar to take in the game. (Yes, Mini 1 and Mini 2 were with but you can’t judge me because the bar has a kids’ menu.) While I enjoyed a Harp Shandy, Hubs B sat on the end of his chair with his eyes glued to the television.

I have to digress a minute and wish my good friend and her husband a congratulations on the birth of their twin girls yesterday. Now, I’m sure you’re wondering why I would add this to my post about soccer. Well, you see, my friend’s husband is just as big of a fan as Hubs B and while the US was losing to Belgium (sorry…spoiler for those rock dwellers), they were welcoming their baby girls. A great end to a shitty day of lost soccer where I spent the rest of the evening in a bar with a bunch of semi-drunk depressed Americans. But lucky for him, he’s from Germany and I’m sure his loyalty still lies there. So rock on Germany. Kick some French ass!

But yeah, back to soccer. Now this post really has nothing to do with the game and everything to do with the hot guys who participate. I have no problem watching soccer with Hubs B and would probably do it regardless, but all those hot, hot guys make it totally worth it.

966142-hot-soccer-players

Lawwrrddd….someone hold me up.

Have you seen these men? Oh my fucking god. It’s the only professional sport that cranks out more good-looking faces and hot bodies than any other. But for the love of fuck…make the world cup happen more often than every four years. Stop punishing women!

18k3c8f03s6amjpg

Good god, those eyes!

So in the end, here is the reason I really watch…hot guys and soccer junk. When I say junk, I mean the best kind. 🙂

Here’s a montage of some of my favorites. Enjoy ladies, or guys if that’s your thing. 😉

Hello!

Adorable ass.

Not sure what this is about but it made me laugh.

Last one…I promise.

18k3c89377ny6jpg

I lied… This is Oguchi Onyewu. I have no idea how to pronounce his name, which will make for an interesting attempt while I call it out in my dreams.

I think I have ADD.

PM2

Filed Under: Beautiful boy, FFS, Fuck. Me., Totes adorbs, What the hell is wrong with me ·

Game of Thrones, stop f**king with me

June 10, 2014 by Girlswithpottymouths ·

Hubs B and I have a serious obsession with Game of Thrones. It’s one of those rare shows we watch on live TV. And just like last season (The Red Wedding…still bawling my fucking eyes out! WAAAAAHHHHHHH, ROBB STARK!), the second to the last episode of the season didn’t disappoint.

WARNING!!! SPOILERS!! Don’t read if you don’t want to know what happens!!!! You’ve been warned.

This is going to be a shit ass mess because my thoughts are still. But here it goes…

So Ygritte and her band of douche bag assholes Wildlings invade Castle Black in an epic battle that still has me screaming Jon Snow’s name. As the battle ensues, Jon leaves his post at the top of the wall to singlehandedly take on all 100,000 Wildlings in the depths of the castle. I’m bouncing on the edge of the couch, yelling and shielding my eyes. “Go Jon, you motherfucker! Kill them all!” Hubs B is the silent type, but trust me he’s just as anxious. He can’t die, right? But then it hits, this fucking show kills everyone and that brings me back Tyrion…OMFG I’m not going to find out if he dies in this episode! Back to the battle, fucking Ygritte that dirty whore, kills Sam’s friend with an arrow straight through his throat. So graphic and not a good way to die. But Sam stays with him and comforts him as he fades away, but then I panic again that Sam is going to die. At this point Gilly and the baby have come back and she’s hiding in the pantry and she made Sam promise he won’t die. So fuck me, he can’t die too! Jon, still in the thick of it, is now fighting like a fucking machine and during this time Sam releases Jon’s wolf, Ghost who proceeds to kill anything in his path and eat their faces. It was disgusting, yet somehow thrilling. Just as Jon has a leg up on all this shit, the king of Wildlings, that owl dude with the creepy eyes starts kicking the shit out of Jon. OMFG!!! He’s going to die!! But fate steps in and he goes down. Sigh of relief is breathed, but then that whore Ygritte shows up and now I know it’s over. NO!!! Please for the love of fuck, don’t kill him! Don’t forget Ygritte you’re the one who opened your legs to this hot ass man. And the next thing I know, she’s down for the count. This poor kid who’s been forced to run the elevator during this shit fight, puts an arrow in her saving Jon’s life. I could totes kiss this kid. Falling back on to the couch, feeling like I just ran a marathon, I turn to Hubs B and say, “It’s over already? Shit, check the time, I think that episode was only twenty minutes long.”

If you need me I’ll be watching the preview for next week’s episode on repeat until Sunday.

And that’s my take on this whole thing. Yep, I think I’ve lost my mind.

PM2

Filed Under: Don't judge me, FFS, Fuck. Me., What the hell is wrong with me, WTF? ·

X-Men…our hot ass review.

May 26, 2014 by Girlswithpottymouths ·

Yep, we’re back with our latest obsession! Here at Girls with Potty Mouths, we love to obsess over movies, especially movies with superheroes, comic book themes and hot boys. Over the weekend we saw X-Men: Days of Future Past and it was, hands down, the best in the series. There is just something about this group of rebel mutants that make our hearts swoon and the teenage girl in us squeal with delight. They’re gritty and sexy and holy fucking hot as hell.

The cast is amazing in its own right with A-list stars abound and simple cameos and bit parts that make you smile. The filmmaking…OMG…totes one of the best with its slow motion action and battle sequences, along with its crisp filming and 3D addition that make it just stunning to watch. You can’t help but get wrapped up in it all.

But let’s get down to what’s important here…the hot guys.

PM2:

OMFG, PM1!!! How perfectly awesome was X-Men: Days of Future past? I loved seeing a young Erik and Charles together again. But those feuding boys…so naughty, yet so hot. Damn that Raven for coming between them. She’s far smarter than that…take them both, sweetheart! No judgment here! While both boys have their perks, I’m partial to Erik/Magneto, even with his seventies garb and his fondness for neckerchiefs, I’d take him to bed. There’s just something about a bad boy that makes me go all swoony. Your thoughts, darling PM1? (On a side note… Michael Fassbender is so fucking bad ass and hot all on his own.)

PM1:

Totes agree PM2, totes agree. That Fassbender boy is smoking hot. Mind you, there’s no shortage of hot men in these X-Men films and what I loved most about this latest installment was the past-present mash-up that gave us not just young Magneto and Charles, but also Hank, arguably the hottest nerd around, Mystique, because let’s be real, she is smoking hot, and of course, Wolverine.

I’m gonna be honest and say I totes love the Wolverine. I love his surly ass attitude, I love the mega crush he has on Jean Grey and especially the way he rubs it in Cyclops’ face, I love his adamantium upgrades (come on, who doesn’t want a set of those claws) and I fucking love his physique. Not normally one for the OTT muscle, there’s just something about the Wolverine that works…and damn does it work well. So when you get Wolverine together with young Magneto, Charles and Hank…whoah, that’s a whole lotta hotness in one room.

The only thing I can think of that would be better than this, would be if Marvel did what all of us fans are hoping for and gave us…wait for it…an Avengers-X-Men mash-up! I mean, come the fuck on, can you imagine what that would be like? No? Well, allow me to pain you a picture…

Loki
Magneto
Thor
Wolverine
Captain America
Professor X
Iron Man
Hank
The Hulk
Cyclops
Mystique
Black Widow

I mean, holy fucking shit!…PM2, are you with me on this?

PM2:

I’m with you on it all, PM1. I’m not sure what more I can say seeing as you, my dear girl, have boarded the runaway train of hot men, superheroes and rambling inner thoughts.

My last thought… I’m already squirming in my chair for the next installment. Nothing like a bit of time travel and a few changes to the past to reset everything you ever knew. Can’t wait to see my favorite mutants take on Apocalypse. If we’re making lists, here’s mine:

Who I need taking on Apocalypse…

1. Wolverine-Well, because a fight sequence without his shirtless hot ass body would just be entirely pointless.

2. Scott/Cyclops-I have a thing for James Marsden. He has that nerdy-hot thing going on and now that his character has been resurrected, let’s give him the respect he deserves.

3. Jean Grey- You can’t have Scott without Jean and nothing beats the sexual tension between her and Wolverine. And maybe, just maybe we’ll see a better introduction to Dark Phoenix, which, in my opinion, was so badly botched in X-Men: The Last Stand. Hopefully they get it right his time.

4. Storm- She might be an original, but she’s as iconic as the whole franchise. I was sad to see her not up to her ass kicking, flying self in Days of Future Past. (In her defense, she was knocked up.) Here’s to hoping she’s as bad ass as she was in the past.

One more last last thought… What happens to Wolverine??? Since he traveled back in time and the past has been irrevocably disturbed, does he still take part in the Weapon X program or is he left with his original bone claws???

PM1:

Ahhh, I’m glad you brought that up PM2. He needs his upgrades!! As much as I love the bone claws, Wolverine isn’t Wolverine without those steel ones…I laugh so hard when he flips someone off with them! But, who knows what Mystique will do to him now she’s gotten her blue paws on him…guess we’ll have to wait and see when Apocolypse hits our screens. And as a final shout out, please bring back Quicksilver…his slow-mo run through the kitchen was one of the best scenes of the movie.

Filed Under: Beautiful boy, Fuck. Me., Totes adorbs ·

You can have any movie you want as long as it’s F&F

May 20, 2014 by Girlswithpottymouths ·

Here at Girls with Potty Mouths we obsess over a lot of things, but we have two things that we share an intense and possibly crazy mutual love for. Ben Affleck (not sure if that’s obvious yet) and The Fast and the Furious movies. We have no shame or embarrassment when we admit we love The Fast and the Furious franchise. We have mad love for all of them, even the shit ass Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift.

PM2:

Ok PM1, we both love the F&F movies and it’s something we discuss regularly, so let’s share our obsession with our readers.

I don’t even know where to begin because OMFG I love these movies. I love the characters and the story line and the drama and the car chases and the hot ass boys and…fuck me…I love it all. It gives me that heart-racing, tingly feeling and something about it all is totes a turn on. It could have something to do with Vin Diesel and Paul Walker. (I nearly cried when I typed his name. I’m still recovering from his death. Total devastation.) But both of these boys… So. Fucking. Hot. Help me out PM1…let’s narrow this convo down.

PM1:

I hear you PM2, I hear you. There are no words to describe how I feel about this movie franchise. I own every single one of them, yet I will still watch them every time they are on TV. From the original, and some would say the best, to the shitastic Tokyo Drift, which was saved by the introduction of the delicious Han and the epic cameo from Vin at the end. To the resurrection of the franchise with Fast Five and the post-credits discovery that Letty was still alive (yeay!) and the full circle Fast and Furious Six, which got the whole gang back together again.

Like you, I can’t put it down to a single thing. I love the boys, (Vin, Paul – RIP beautiful man, Tyrese, Ludacris, Sung), the cars, the crazy ass driving stunts, the romance (yeay for Letty and Dom being back together), and the surprisingly emotional moments. I mean, I cried for Han when he lost Gisele and then I cried for me, when we lost Han. These movies are unashamedly over the top, but I think that’s part of why we love them. I love that they aren’t afraid to mock themselves and I love that every movie creates a whole new ridiculously implausible criminal and subsequent mission that always involves at least two super-charged car chases and completely unbelievable, but still totally cool stunts. Fuck Yeah.

One thing I do know however is that Fast Seven will sadly be the end of the line for me. It was one thing to lose Han and Gisele in Fast Six, but to even think about continuing these movies after the shocking and all too early death of Paul Walker. No way. I flat out refuse to watch any future Fast and Furious movies, because this man, like Vin, is the Fast and Furious movies. They are quite simply, pointless without him and I for one can barely accept the fact he has gone, let alone sit through a movie without him in it. PM2, what do you think?

PM2:

Oh…PM1, you know how I feel about the death of Paul Walker and the continuation of the franchise without him. Call it done. There is no point in continuing something that has lost person who is the personification of this franchise, the one who is and always will be, associated with these movies. I’m going to digress a bit… The death of Paul Walker pretty much ruined my evening that night and having to hear it from you, PM1, was even more devastating. I will never forget that text message, “PM2!!! PAUL WALKER IS DEAD.” I legit shed a tear and when Hubs B came home and I bombarded him with this news, he was anything but sympathetic. This is where Hubs B and Hubs A are total douche bags. While chatting with PM1 about one of the biggest tragedies of 2014, Hubs B was making snide comments in the background.

Me: Oh PM1, I’m so sad. Why did this have to happen???!!!

PM1: I know, me too. Why was he driving so fast???!!

Hubs B and Hubs A are listening to this and this is where Hubs B interjects and causes Hubs A to laugh uncontrollably.

Hubs B: That’s because he lives his life a quarter mile at a time. (I gave him the death stare, but have to give him props for his witty retort that included an F&F reference.)

To this day, PM1 and I still talk about this convo, but at least now we can laugh about Hubs A and Hubs B’s stupidity.

But back to the post…well maybe, because this has turned into a rambling shit ass mess of gibberish. Anyway…These movies are full of some of the best one-liners ever. (“I live my life a quarter mile at a time.” “Bullshit. Nobody likes the tuna here.” “The busta brought me home.” “You can have any brew you want as long as it’s a Corona.”) And well, let’s be honest, we all know it is one of the best film franchises of all time. Just try and disagree with us. You’d be completely fucking wrong, so don’t bother.

Have you ever known a franchise that can make a bunch of movies set in random order and come out on top? These movies top the box office with insane opening numbers and even more outrageous earnings. Now tell me these movies suck. Not. Going. To. Happen. Nope, this shit is it. 2Fast 2Furious and Tokyo Drift, both crap, yet somehow created two amazingly memorable characters, Roman and Han. The creation of Fast and Furious (technically movie #4) that eventually brought back most of the original cast with hardly any link to the previous two movies. The reason I say random order is because Tokyo Drift actually takes place after The Fast and the Furious Six and foreshadows the death of Han. (Sobbing. WTF…why did he have to die???) Only seriously avid lovers of the franchise would recognize this.

But it’s not only the one-liners that make these movies outstanding. It’s so much more. Vin Diesel is like the Yoda of cars, teaching Brian everything he needs to know about racing and nitrous deploying timing and shifting and well, life. And who doesn’t love action-packed car races that border on ridiculously impossible? I love the scene in Fast Five when they steal the safe and drive it through the city. (A shout out to Giselle for driving that garbage truck in an orange jumpsuit and still looking fucking hot as hell.) The deception and planning and execution of it all, only to have it followed up with a perfectly cheesy ending. OMG…I could go on forever. I think this needs a top five or a top ten, maybe even a top…who the fuck knows how many. Thoughts, PM1?

PM1:

I think what this needs is a fucking saga PM2 and that’s totes how I see this post turning out! But you’re right, on so many counts, but especially about Hubs A and Hubs B being epic douche bags during the death of Paul Walker…a man we not only fantasize about racing alongside, but who is the epitome of what this movie franchise is all about. It will never be the same without him.

But it’s everything else you mentioned too. And of course, let’s not forget the romance. From the tough love, push my buttons and I’ll push yours, between Dom and Letty to the totes adorable love between Brian and Mia to the outright gorgeous pinning of Han for Gisele… These men might be total tough guys, but they are complete softies when it comes to their women, and we love them even more for that.

This series, quite simply, has it all. I mean I can single-handedly thank this movie franchise for not only teaching me a whole bunch of pointless car shit, but for also giving me some of the coolest lines of all time. The Fast and Furious Franchise will always be a go-to movie series for us, one that we will never get tired of watching, but will forever be retired after Fast Seven.

And on that note, PM2 and I would like to take a second to say how much we miss Paul Walker. Yes, we didn’t know the man and yes, our love is heavily based on his looks and fucking adorable character in this movie franchise, but it’s also based on this.

RIP Paul Walker 🙁

Filed Under: Beautiful boy, Don't judge me, Fuck. Me. ·

Don’t judge me, but… Best. Season. Finale. Ever.

May 16, 2014 by Girlswithpottymouths ·

Ok…I officially need to discuss the season finale of The Vampire Diaries. So if you haven’t seen it…spoilers are coming…you’ve been warned.

Look, I’ll admit, I’m a huge fan of the fang. I love all vampire stuff, but especially when it’s done well. No sparkling fangless vamps here thank you. And personally, I think The Vampire Diaries, hits it out of the fucking ballpark. This show has it all; the fangs, the blood, the drinking from humans, the violence, and the holy-fucking-shit-is-he-sexy. This is what vampires should be about.

I’m also going to admit that I’m partial to certain celebrity romances. I get invested, protective even, almost as though I’m involved in them myself. Yes I know, it’s not normal, but I can’t help it, I feel a certain allegiance to specific couples and I’m naturally devastated when they break up in real life.

But what the fuck does any of this have to do with anything?

A good question, and I’ll admit, the link is tenuous as best, but, and hear me out, because I’ll bet I’m not alone. Watching last night’s season finale of The Vampire Diaries has only reinforced to me how much IAN AND NINA SHOULD GET BACK TOGETHER. Seriously.

But it also reinforced to me just how much this show fucking rocks.

Oh fuck me, was this finale epic. I cried, I squealed, I screamed “no fucking way”…a lot… and I smiled… but mostly I cried. Because finally, finally, Damon and Elena were on the same page and my god was it fucking awesome, like seriously swoon-worthy Thelma and Louise style awesome…and then…Damon doesn’t make it back…and Elena breaks down … and then… he talks about how this is the moment he knows his entire 173 year life was worth it… and then… I swoon some more… and then… I break down again… and then… the show ends and I’m wishing to fuck it was season 6 already.

It was emotional and it was romantic and it was everything a good bad-boy-vampire-meets-good-girl-vampire show should be. And once again, it highlighted the fan-fucking-tastic sexual chemistry Nina and Ian have. So for the love of fucking god, please get back together already…and CWTV, for the love of fucking god, please start season 6 already.

The only saving grace in this whole sob-fest of Elena losing Damon and me losing my dignity, is that Alaric is back… Alaric is back!! And if he hadn’t just lost his BFF, I’d be rejoicing at the best onscreen bromance ever being back together again. Only I can’t…because Damon is gone…and I’m about to cry again.

So you see, Damon has to come back, not just for Elena and Alaric, but for me too…seriously…Damon, come back…please.

PM1

Filed Under: Don't judge me, Fuck. Me., Totes adorbs, What the hell is wrong with me ·

Why Ben Affleck is our number one celebrity BF – part 1

May 14, 2014 by Girlswithpottymouths ·

At Girls With Potty Mouths, we make no secret of our love for Ben Affleck. We adore him as an actor, a director, a writer, a husband, a father, a humanitarian, a gorgeous piece of ass, and just an all round nice guy.

So, in honor of Ben, and really, do we need an excuse to sing this guy’s praises, we’ve each come up with our Top 5 favorite Ben Affleck movies. Ready, go…

PM1:

1. The Town. Ok, Ben wrote it, directed it, produced it, and starred in it, highlighting his immense talent and all round awesomeness. This alone should put this film in the number 1 spot. But then there’s that scene. You know the one I’m talking about. The one we’ve all watched a million times because it involves Ben, shirtless, doing chin ups in the doorframe. Well played, Ben, well played.

2. Argo. Again, he wrote it, he directed it, he produced it, and he starred in it. Yes it “slightly” glamorized real life events and Ben was rocking a shocking 70s hairstyle…but who cares, because this film once again showed his awesomeness off to the world. The fact the Academy snubbed him for a Director nod only goes to show their stupidity, especially when every other organization gave him the award. Wake up Academy, this man has talent, serious talent.

3. Chasing Amy. Because this is love-struck, adorable Ben at his best. Classic lines and characters, a ballsy kiss with his BFF and a gorgeously romantic attempt to win back the girl he loves, I will never get tired of watching this film.

4. Sum of All Fears. Yep, I know it’s not known for being one of his best films, but I still love it because (a) it stars Ben Affleck, (b) he rocks it when he speaks Russian, (c) he’s adorable as the nerdy wannabe spy who’s in love with the surgeon and, (d) it stars Ben Affleck.

5. Good Will Hunting. Undoubtedly a classic, this was also the film that launched Ben’s career, introduced us to his younger brother Casey and also gave us the downright adorable bromance of Matt and Ben. Never have two BFFs been cuter, especially when they took their mom’s to the Oscars. Collaborate again boys, we MISS you together.

PM2:

1. The Town. I’m not sure I need to say a lot about this because clearly this movie showcases his talent like no other. Director, writer, actor…a real renaissance man. Plus I just adore the love story that develops within this movie, so sweet. I love it. But really who am I kidding? That fucking chin up scene is really the reason I keep coming back and re-watching. I love that man and his sick ass body.

2. Armageddon. Now I know this movie is cheesy as fuck and borderline terrible, but I love it. I remember seeing it in the theater with Hubs B who at the time was just Boy B. Fuck knows why he married me after the display I put on during that movie. I sobbed like a fucking baby. (So loud in fact that when we left the theater Hubs B said that the movie was sad but I was the only one crying so hard that it made a noise.) In my defense, I thought Ben was going to die!!!

3. Good Will Hunting. Totes a classic and one of my favorite movies of all time. I have mad love for Casey Affleck and Matt Damon and I really kinda need them all to get on another project together. Hear that boys? But back to the movie… I love that Boston accent and the horrible track suit Ben rocks in this movie. And as always, there’s something about a bad boy.

4. Chasing Amy. I love this movie and it might just be because I love anything by Kevin Smith too. I love Ben’s character’s determination to win over the girl. To be pursued like that and by that beautiful boy, I would instantly rethink my need to shag women. Joey Lauren Adams gets a shout out for being aborbs, too.

5. Jersey Girl. Kevin Smith again and there’s something about Ben and that little girl that just makes my heart swell. I love the scene when he re-enacts Sweeny Todd with her just to make her happy. He is, in this movie, the perfect father and when he falls in love with Liv Tyler, my heart melts.

PM1 & PM2:

Now of course, this being Ben, even limiting it to a Top is tough, so…

Honorable mention part one…Pearl Harbor. This movie sucks. The worst, but again…we thought Ben was going to die!!! And the love he has for Kate Beckinsale’s character (smoking hot btw), is just adorable.

Honorable mention part two…Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. We love, love, love this movie. Although Ben’s part is tiny, his potty mouth turns us on and makes us laugh. His reprised role of Holden McNeil in all of these movies is always awesome and the fact that he mocks himself in this one only makes him even more attractive.

Honorable mention part three must go to Dogma. Not only do we get to watch that adorable Matt-Ben bromance again, but we flat out love these two boys as fallen angels. You can come save us any time boys!

Honorable mention part four goes to Gone Baby Gone. Ok, Ben doesn’t star in it, but he did direct it, and for a first time director, it was nothing short of fucking awesome. Plus we got to see Casey showcase his acting chops.

As you can see we’re having a hard time narrowing it down. Pretty sure Batman will soon be joining this list too… BEN!!! Stop making it so hard!

Filed Under: Ben Affleck, Fuck. Me. ·

Holy f**king sh*tballs Batman…it’s Ben Affleck!

May 13, 2014 by Girlswithpottymouths ·

PM1:

Ok PM2, holy shit…have you seen Ben Affleck in the bat suit? I really didn’t think it could get any better when it came to this gorgeous man, but guess what, it just did. I mean he rocks the shirtless thing, there’s no disputing that (The Town people, watch The Town), but fuck me if he doesn’t rock the black latex suit as well. And check out those guns, and those abs, and those cute little bat ears…Ahhhh, I wanna go for a ride in HIS bat mobile…

PM2:

I nearly pissed my pants out of sheer excitement when I saw this picture. I’ve looked at, googled it, obsessed over it for the last five hours. And that latex suit, fuck me if it doesn’t fit him like a glove, a hot, sexy, run my tongue all over it glove. (Yo, I’m kinda glad he doesn’t have nips in that thing though.) As we’ve discussed before, this boy rocks going shirtless like no one else and now, there’s not a chance in hell anyone can argue that he doesn’t rock that bat suit too. Now all I need is some audio to go with that pic and I’m all set. (OMFG…deep, sexy, hot as fuck…talk dirty to me, PLEASE!) Let the fantasies begin…

PM1:

Gotta agree with you about the nip thing PM2. That was, without a doubt, the worst addition to the whole Batman get-up…well that and casting Val Kilmer or George Clooney as Batman. But this isn’t about them; this is about BEN FUCKING AFFLECK. And while I’m screaming about this gorgeous hunk of a man, let’s just take a second to discuss how epically awesome this movie is going to be. Not just because of Ben, although let’s get real it will mostly be because of him, but because of the inclusion of Henry Superman Cavill. This is yet another superb piece of casting magic and seeing these two men on big screen in all their latex-suited glory… oh geez, I may need to watch this movie alone… and in 3D…please release it in 3D…

PM2:

Ugh…Val Kilmer and George Clooney, PM1, just the mention of their names nearly ruined the beautiful image I have in my head of our boy Ben and his hot ass body. Don’t do that again! Thankfully you redeemed yourself with the inclusion of Henry (hot ass muthafucker) Cavill as Superman. Just the thought of the two of them together on screen wearing skin-tight latex makes me want to go Oooooooohhhhhhh. 3D or not, I’ll be there, although I might be licking the screen.

PM1:

And I’ll be right there with you PM2, although as I said, I may need to watch this movie alone. All that latex and gorgeousness on one screen might be too much for me to watch with an audience. Either way, we’re confident this movie, and Ben Affleck as Batman, is going to rock…hard!

Filed Under: Ben Affleck, Fuck. Me. ·