Welcome to the randomness that is us. Never wanting to be limited to just a single topic/hate/love/OMFG…we’ve decided to compile a Top 5. We’ll mix it up every month and if you have any suggestions, feel free to email us.
November 2015
PM1 – Top 5 favourite characters on The Walking Dead
In honour of the recent return of The Walking Dead (and the Potty Mouth blog!), I thought I would dedicate this month’s Top 5 to my favourite characters on what is arguably my favourite TV show.
- Although these are in no particular order and even though I remain convinced he is still alive, my first favourite character of course has to be Glenn. I seriously don’t how you can possibly not love this character. From his humble beginnings as a pizza delivery guy, to his awesomeness as a zombie killer, from the way he calls Rick a dumbass or the deep love he has for Maggie, even when her racist father tried to tell him to stay away, Glenn is probably the most adorable character on this show. And even though he should’ve killed Nicholas a long time ago, maybe leaving him to fend for himself in a forrest full of zombies, the fact that he chose to save the little pyscho only speaks even more about the type of character he is. Which is why I flat out refuse to accept that Nicholas could possibly be responsible for Glenn’s death, even if it was a total accident. No way, no fucking way. Besides, he didn’t get to say goodbye to his wife, so he can’t be dead….
- Which brings me to number 2, Maggie. This chick, quite simply, kicks ass. Yeah I know Carol does too, but there’s just something about Maggie, with her adorable southern accent and her hot as fuck body in those skin tight jeans, that just makes me wanna be her. Throw in the fact that she gets Glenn for a husband (see point 1), and I’m sold.
- Of course no list would be complete without Daryl. Even though he entered the show as a total bad boy with a dick of a brother, you just knew this guy was a total marshmallow inside. And wasn’t he just…from his bromance with Rick, a guy he’d never probably be friends with had the zombie apocalypse not happened, to the unbelievable sexual tension he has with Carol (come on you two, just do it already!) or the anguish he felt when he finally rescued Beth, only to have her die in front of him, Daryl is a guy you just wanna jump on the back of his bike with and shout “ride!”
- And speaking of bromances, this list would also not be complete without the inclusion of Rick. He’s the first character we met when the show started and he’s the one we’ve constantly followed and backed to survive along the way. We were cheering when he finally found his wife again, shared his anguish when he discovered she’d been sleeping with his best friend who might also be the father of Judith. Cried with him when he had to kill said best friend in front of his son, relaxed with him when they finally reached the CDC and seeming salvation and still backed him when he seemed to go off the rails and start yelling and killing the morons in Alexandria who didn’t seem to realise there even was a zombie apocalypse going on. He’s an awesome dad, a kick ass fighter and an amazing leader. I’d follow you any day Rick.
- My final spot in this top 5 actually goes out to 3 people, mainly because I love them all and I can’t decide. Of course one of those is Carol. Not just because she overcame her shitty past to become an awesome and essential part of the team, but because she does her Susie-homemaker impersonation so fucking well. The other two are Abraham and his GF, Rosita. At first I wondered about the addition of these two characters. I mean really, they were nothing more than a bad dye job and a pair of short shorts. But, not only were these two secretly getting it on (hot), they were also some pretty cool characters. And let’s not forget, at the end of season 5, Abraham had quite possibly one of the greatest lines ever…”Simply put, there’s a vast ocean of shit that you people don’t know shit about. Rick knows every fine grain of said shit. And then some…” Well said Abraham, well fucking said.
PM 2- Top 5 reasons I have a love/hate relationship with Sunday
These are mostly just my reasons why I love Sundays, but they usually remind me that I have to go back to work on Monday. The weekend starts and I literally blink and it’s gone. At least I have Sunday evenings to drown my sorrows with food, alcohol, TV and my BFF.
- Like PM 1 I fucking LOVE The Walking Dead and this is the main reason why my Sundays don’t suck so bad. I live for new episodes and when Sunday comes around, I’m giddy as a fucking school girl to watch the most recent episode.
- The Leftovers, another Sunday show, but this one has a hot ass guy and a totally confusing plot line. But hell, I love it and pair it with WD and I’m in for at least a two hour stretch of TV.
- Homeland, add that to Sundays and they’re not so bad. Fucking crazy Carrie Mathison makes me feel so much better about my crazy ass self, but the show makes me fucking scared as hell because it’s way too realistic. Never Google what is happening on Homeland, the shit that comes up is crazy and there might be a possibility I’ve been added to some list of people to watch out for because of my Google search history. Homeland needs to take full blame for that shit.
- The Affair, this is a new one for me, but the binge watching is in full swing and usually puts Hubs B and I up to four hours of straight TV watching on Sundays. I’ve loved Joshua Jackson since his days as Pacey, so I’m in. But it’s not just him that makes the show intriguing and allows my Sunday to be less sucky, but the the story telling is fucking amazing.
- Last, but never least, my wonderful BFF. She spends Sundays crashed on my couch watching right along with Hubs B and me. Third Wheel Friday turns to Third Wheel Sunday whenever the new seasons start and having her around to laugh, drink, eat and say stupid shit with makes Sunday one of my favorite days. <3
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September 2014
PM2- Top 5 songs I Like to Give Guy BFF Shit For Liking
In honor of Guy BFF’s birthday, I thought I’d give him a shout out in my top 5. For his birthday he requested Hubs B and I attend the Rusted Root, Blues Traveler and Gin Blossoms concert with him, so it looks like were heading back to all those years we spent together in college. I like to tell him he has terrible taste in music and while he doesn’t like these songs, they’ve become synonymous with him. I’m pretty sure he’s more annoyed with me than not on a regular basis, but that’s okay. It’s part of my charm. So happy birthday, Guy BFF! Love the shit out of you!
1. Cherry Poppin’ Daddies- Zoot Suit Riot: This song is just fucking annoying and while Guy BFF hates this song, I like to tell him it’s his favorite just to piss him off. It usually works. 😉
2. Rednex- Cotton Eyed Joe: At one point Guy BFF had made up a dance to this song. It’s amazeballs…
3. Brian Setzer Orchestra- Jump, Jive an’ Wail: The fucking worst. This song couldn’t be more annoying, and while Guy BFF can dish it out, he can’t take it. This was one of those “favorite songs” that he hated, which made it even better that I continually claim it as his favorite. Pisses him off.
4. Lou Bega- Mambo No. 5: Oh this fucking song. Back in the spring of ’99, this song was all over the fucking place. So much that you couldn’t turn on the radio and not hear it. I grew to hate it…with a flaming passion. Guy BFF came home one day and proclaimed to love the song. I kinda hated him after that.
5. Cher- Believe: This one is from Hubs B. Nice job arranging those flowers. 😉
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August 2014
PM1 – Top 5 TV Boyfriends
I obviously watch a ridiculous amount of TV, as evidenced by some of my most recent blog posts. So I thought this month, why not capitalize on that and tell you all about my top 5 TV boyfriends.
1. Damon Salvatore from The Vampire Diaries. Ok, let’s get real here, this boy has it all. He’s snarky, he’s hot, he’s sexy as fuck and he has, without a doubt, the most amazing eyes out there. Plus, underneath that tortured bad boy, there’s a total softie just waiting to get out.
2. Alaric Saltzman from The Vampire Diaries. I’m clearly still suffering withdrawals from my weekly Vampire Diaries fix. However, even though I am not-so-patiently awaiting its return, one thing I was happy beyond fucking excited about in last season’s finale was that Alaric is back. Never have I been more excited about a fictional BF. I flat out love this closet alcoholic, history teaching, snarky bad boy with the most adorable smile in the whole of Mystic Falls. The fact that he has a gorgeous little bromance with Damon only adds to his appeal. In fact these two should just come as a package deal.
3. Jax Teller from Sons of Anarchy. Yes Jax, I am still fucking mad at you. Don’t think I’ve forgotten or forgiven you for being a dick for the last two seasons. But, you are still hot as fuck, with a gorgeous little smile and a totes adorbs relationship with your boys. Just make sure you exact your revenge appropriately.
4. Harvey Spector from Suits. Man oh man does this boy rock a suit like no one’s business. Not only is he a ruthless lawyer who’s not afraid of anyone, he’s totes against cheating on his significant other and he has a total soft spot for his boy, Mike and his girl, Donna. Love him.
5. Sam & Dean Winchester from Supernatural. Yeah ok, I know it’s technically two, but these boys are fictional brothers, so they’re a one-shot deal. Not only are they both unbelievably hot; they’re also funny, sexy, snarky and you know no matter what evil is afoot, they’ll fight for you.
PM2- Top 5 guilty pleasure songs
So I decided to do this one because for some odd reason, I’ve heard all of them on the radio this week. Bizarre. And because PM1 gave her’s in our About Us section way back when. 😉
1. Britney Spears: Oops, I Did It Again- Who doesn’t love a red latex jumpsuit and old school Britney?
2. Queen: Fat Bottomed Girls- It’s Queen…enough said.
3. Jim Croce- Bad, Bad, Leroy Brown- No explanation, just that these are guilt pleasures.
4. Hinder: Lips of an Angel- Hubs B is filing for divorce as we speak.
5. Hanson: MmmBop- Please, this is on everyone’s list and if it’s not, it fucking should be.
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July 2014
PM1 – Top 5 Reasons work can just suck a dick.
1. I have to show up five days a week. I mean seriously, who the fuck decided that we should work five days a week and only get two days off. Surely this is akin to slave labor?
2. The early starts. Anyone who knows me knows I’m not a morning person. I hate it and if I had my way, I probably wouldn’t get out of bed until sometime after 11am. Having to get up for work just about pushes me to the brink of insanity, especially when it’s still dark out and remains that way until I’m pulling into the parking garage at work.
3. The commute. I’ve already made multiple Face Punch Friday posts about this and unfortunately, it seems as though it’s only getting worse. Every single day brings a new set of fucktards onto the road, and short of starting work at 4am (never gonna happen, see point 2), I’m not really sure how I’m going to avoid them.
4. The random “announcement emails” that fill my inbox to near capacity on a daily basis. Doesn’t seem to matter how many times I unsubscribe from these fucking alert lists, they still keep coming back. And all they do is waste my time with calls for “volunteers for a study to stop smoking” or “2005 laptop for sale, excellent condition”. Here’s a tip, unless it involves free booze, I’m not interested.
5. The heating/air-con situation. Apparently someone fucked this whole installation up because in the summer, my office resembles the surface of the sun and in the winter, the Artic. Doesn’t matter how many times I lodge a complaint, nothing changes, well except the speed of the air blowing out of the vent above my desk.
PM2 – Top 5 Reasons I Hate Grocery Shopping
1. The self check-out line: Now while these are designed to make life easier, I find them infuriating. That stupid computerized voice constantly telling me to place the item on the belt or remove the item from the belt and then telling me to wait for assistance. Even better when buying alcohol, it requests an ID. Understandable, but what is lose my shit annoying is the wait time for the clerk, who always happens to be chatting with a co-worker, to finally haul her lazy ass over. Generally giving me that look that screams, “Are you really wasting my time with this?” My answer, “YES! It’s your fucking job!”
2. The crowd of old folks who also choose to shop at the same time as me. I swear I’m a magnet for slow moving, crabby-faced old peeps who can’t figure out how to push a cart, locate items at the store and use the self-check out.
3. Mini 1 and Mini 2: While I love the shit out of them, grocery shopping with them is akin to releasing a group of rabid raccoons with ADD loose in a dumpster full of trash. “Can I get a toy? Can I get an icee? Can I get Mentos? Can I ride Sandy? Why not? What about peanut butter cups? How about fruit snacks? I love chocolate cereal. That man over there is fat. That old lady smells. That cheese is gross. Where’s the bathroom? Can I get a toy, please??!!” FFS…
4. The squeaky cart with the janky ass wheel: Yep, I get this fucker every time I shop and you can hear me coming from a mile away. Not just because of its squeakiness, but because of the mass of fucks that spill from my mouth. At points I probably look like I’m having a seizure as I shake the shit out of the cart.
5. Forgetting half the shit on my list because I’m distracted by…my kids, the janky cart, the old peeps, all food I don’t need, but am buying out of starvation…the list is fucking endless.
Dear Peapod,
You are my best friend and I love you,
Love,
PM2
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June 2014
PM2 – Top 5 guys who are hotter in a hat:
I don’t know what stated my love of guys in hats, but I think it had something to do with my high school boyfriend. He came to pick me up and during that time he met my dad. I was fifteen years old, I don’t know what my dad expected of me, but needless to say, he wasn’t a fan of my poorly dressed sixteen-year-old boyfriend with a car. Think Justin Bieber circa 1994. Boy was wearing a backward hat, which I, of course, found stupidly attractive. I found it even hotter, when my dad pulled me aside and said something along the line of, “You like this smuck? I’m pretty sure wearing a hat backward causes you to lose IQ points.” I rolled my eyes, and hauled ass after this boy with my dad yelling, “Don’t get pregnant! A pregnant belly looks gross in a bikini.” Guess that’s what started this fascination with boys in hats. So here’s my top five.
1. Paul Walker- Now this boy was (typing was is going to make me cry like a little girl) amazingly hot no matter what, but something about him in a hat gets my panties in a twist. Love him.
2. Jesse Lee Soffer- Kinda an unknown, but so much hotter in a hat. Check him out on Chicago PD, all that cold weather and hat wearing makes him far more attractive.
3. Tim McGraw- Something about that cowboy hat and that voice when paired together is oh so yummy. Faith is one lucky lady.
4. Jason Statham- Hot. So fucking hot and a total bad ass. Throw in the hat and I’m sold on his hotness.
5. Samuel L. Jackson- The man is notorious for making hat wearing an art form. Love his potty mouth and the fact that he looks amazing in a backward hat.
PM1 – Top 5 reasons Facebook pisses me off:
1. The “suggested posts.” Look Facebook, I’m in my 30s…the last thing I need is you suggesting that I might be interested in some fancy new anti-wrinkle cream or fat-burning pill or whatever. Why are you even providing these suggestions, I don’t remember ever asking your advice on this.
2. The way the news feed defaults to “top stories”. Ok Facebook, this one really pisses me off. Why the hell did you do this, it’s quite possibly the dumbest “update” you’ve ever made, because all it does is fill my news feed with the same fucking stories, over and over again. How about you let ME decide how MY feed will look.
3. Bullying. Yep, it happens, and worse still, it happens with grown ass adults. In fact, they are some of the worst offenders and often, they don’t even know they’re doing it. Here’s a word of advice, if you aren’t prepared to say it to someone’s face, then don’t go posting it on their wall or talking about it in a status update. Grow the fuck up.
4. Because it created the Facebook whore. You know who they are, they are the people who live and breathe Facebook. They are always online and they always feel the need to inform the world of every single fucking thing that happens throughout their day, usually on a minute-by-minute basis. I honestly couldn’t give a shit that you had bacon and eggs for breakfast or that you washed your hair or that your son took his first shit in the toilet. Get a life.
5. Because it also created the Facebook stalker, pretty much a direct relative of the Facebook whore. These people are also on Facebook 24/7, but rather than tell us all about their life, they simply spend their time liking and commenting on every single photo, event, comment of yours.
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May 2014
PM1 – Top 5 reasons why re-watching Divergent is ALWAYS a smart move:
1. Ok, I know I titled my first-time-watching-this-movie post as Fourgasm, but really I totally underestimated the effect this man has on me. That first time… it should’ve been titled Fourplay…because oh my fucking god, that man is fucking divine and second time, really was a FOURGASM, a multiple FOURGASM even…and if I was to predict, I’m going to say that next time will most definitely be a third time’s a charm FOURGASM.
2. When Tris broke Four out of his trance and they fought together afterwards. Truly, the synchronicity and passion with which they executed that whole take down – you just know they’d be dynamite in the sack.
3. That moment…on the train…at the end. Four hugging Tris (me) and telling her (me) how he knew exactly who she (me) was. A-fucking-mazing.
4. The way they work together. I know I said it at point 2, but really, it’s more than that. Taking out Jeanine together without saying a word; getting on the train together with just a look; sharing a mind together and being totally in sync…these two just work. And it’s fucking hot.
5. Four, Four, Four…ahhhh you are, as always, Hot. As. Fuck.
After reading PM1’s Top 5, clearly it’s going to take her a long time to move beyond this Four obsession she is currently harboring. At this point, no matter what I add to my top 5, it will be overshadowed by her highly intellectual and engrossing list of anything to do with Four.
PM2 – Top 5 movies I loved as a kid:
1. The Outsiders: Obviously there isn’t a kid in America who didn’t love this movie. And although I ruined it by watching it as an adult, I will still have mad love for Ponyboy.
2. The Goonies: Again…an instant childhood classic. Drama, romance, laughs; it has everything I remember as a child being drawn to. And well, it has Josh Brolin, my first childhood crush. So hot.
3. Pretty In Pink: Loved, loved, loved this movie and her hideous pink homemade dress. I’m a child of the 80’s, how can a Molly Ringwald movie not be on my list? And another plus, richie Blane and his endearing smile.
4. Adventures in Babysitting: I still to this day love Elizabeth Shue solely because of this movie. She’s adorbs. But the clincher on this movie is college boy Dan who swoops in and saves the day. How cute is he? Love him and his cheesy as fuck pickup line at the end of the movie. (A shout out goes to Vincent D’Onofrio as Thor/Dawson…totes cute.)
5. Sixteen Candles: OMFG…Jake Ryan. Enough said.
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April 2014
PM1 – Top 5 things I love about Four:
1. Those lips…they are literally begging me to kiss them and hey, who am I to deny them. Pucker up baby.
2. That voice…it’s liquid sexiness, really. I could sit and listen to him talk to me all day.
3. His protective nature…I don’t care how much of an independent woman you are, there is something inherently sexy about the way Four looks out for Tris. He does it in a way that doesn’t undermine her, or doubt her ability to stand up for herself. He just does it because he can’t not, and that, is sexy as fuck.
4. Strategic hand placement…come on, don’t tell me you didn’t gasp just a little (or a lot) when he grabbed Tris’ hip on the ferris wheel…I did.
5. The tattoo…what can I say, I’m a sucker for a tattoo and when it adorns a body like that, even more so. But it’s more than just the ink and its placement, it’s what the tattoo means and what that says about Four…again, sexy as fuck my friends.
PM2 – Top 5 badass female fictional characters:
In keeping with the movie theme for April’s top five, here are my top five badass female fictional characters. Now I have to explain myself a bit here. I feel like there are millions of hot as fuck, badass, flawlessly good male fictional characters, but it’s much harder to find female ones, let alone a list that doesn’t include Bella Swan. Needless to say…she doesn’t make my list. So here it goes:
1. Jessica Rabbit- This character walks the line between a joke and genuine sex appeal. Her ability to make men fall to their knees and drool makes her a genius in her own right. She owns her sexuality in a way that makes her inherently evil. And yeah, I know she’s a cartoon.
2. Hit-Girl- Although a huge source of controversy, this character is more independent than most grown-ass women. Weapon toting, swear using, ass kicking girl to stand by. She’ll save your ass before you can blink.
3. Alabama Whitman- You’re so cool. The first of two Tarantino heroines on my list, she makes the cut because, well, she’s fucking awesome. A true badass-I-can-take-care-of-myself kinda girl. Her sexuality is unmatched and she can kick some serious ass.
4. Mia Wallace- This character embodies the 90’s in a way that is effortlessly hot and anyone who can take a hypodermic needle to the heart and still look good doing it, is fictionally unreal.
5. Selene- Leather catsuit. Enough said. Sexy as fuck. Before Bella Swan, there was Selene. Gun brandishing, werewolf killer, who takes down the head vampire without batting an eye. She is the standard by which all female vampires should concede to. Did I mention… Best leather outfit. Ever.
